Transformers 2: The Revenge of the Fallen is the movie equivalent of crack!!! Not the "I'll suck yo dick" kind of crack, the metaphorical "Whats in this? Crack. Cause i can't seem to put them down." kind of crack. In short you know its bad for you, down right causes cancer in lab rats kind of bad for you but you go anyways giddy with guilt, hopped up on expectations and then that first Transformer flashes across the screen and you know that for the next 2.5 hours entertainment is your God, Transformers is your new bible and you don't care if it lies to you by saying Shia Lebouf could score Megan Fox cause your in escapist church, and Micheal Bay is your priest.

I would regail you the reader with plot points and a brief synopsis of what the movie is about but if you came to Transformers 2: The Revenge of the Fallen looking for a story then i have some beach front property in Arizona i would like to sell you. If your like me and came to have your eyes melted, watch shit blow up, look at robots beat the crap out of each other, laugh at lame one liners and oogle Meagan Fox then Transformers is the crack you have been jonesing for. For any fan of the cartoon from which these movies are based there comes a point were one must evaluate the truth of what you grew up watching and the truth is Transformers the cartoon was a crappily animated, half hour infomercial that i watched for the robots and the action. And with that in mind i have to say the Transformer movies have successfully modernized a ludicrous concept with out losing that Saturday morning cartoon fun. Its as if Transformers the cartoon was made to sell toys and movie tickets seeing how well the source material translates into a dumb summer blockbuster.

Which brings me to Micheal Bay. This movie delivers in spades the kind of dumb summer blockbuster that Micheal Bay has been preparing his whole career to make. I have followed Micheal Bays career since Bad Boys came out way back in the day and i am huge fan of the bubblegum opera of Armageddon to say that no one does dumb summer blockbuster like Micheal Bay is an understatement the man is a genius!!! To say he hasn't made a bad movie is a lie. Bay has Pearl Harbor, Tarantino has Jackie Brown but like Tarantino, Bay delivers in each of his films what fans have come to expect from the directors. With Tarantino its dialogue, homage, and art house chic' with Bay its beauty, action, slo-mo they each have their stock and trade. With Transformers 2: The Revenge of the Fallen Micheal Bay has turned his stock and trade into art - mindless, blissful, explosive, slo-mo'd, cg to death art but art none the less. Were this movie in the hands of any other director i would have been subjected to a plot and a story that was easy to follow and so so visuals instead of the visceral, eye ball melting, brain smashing, sensory overload that i was witness to Tuesday night at mid-night.

The only problem is as with any drug there is a high and a crash. And a few minutes after exiting the theatre, gluing your brain back togethar, readjusting your senses to the world around you, reality comes crashing in and you realize that cars don't turn into giant robots, one liners aren't indicators of intelligent conversations, nerds don't bag hot chicks, and your life will never be as foot loose, inconsiquential and exciting as the crack cooked up by Micheal Bay known as Transformers 2: The Revenge of the Fallen has made it seem. But hey at 2.5 hours and 11 bucks its the greatest escape for your dollar and you won't end up in jail for it either.